But amongst this new love, there is a layer of frustration. Frustration over still learning how to use my camera. Frustration on figuring out how to do certain actions in PhotoShop. Frustration of coming up with creative angles, and finding subjects to practice on.
You see I am a perfectionist by nature. My DISC profile confirmed it. I've never been a really competitive person, yet I set huge standards for myself, and always claim I am most competitive with myself. Sure there are many times when I am very proud of the things I do, but there is always going to be that one little microscopic thing that I wish I could have done better. It's the way we learn and grow, no one is perfect, although many of us, like myself, wish we could be.
I came across this the other day while looking through Jenni's blog and it just spoke to me. It shocked me because it apparently did the same to her, and I really admire her work. I have been looking through her blog, especially at her photography blog, and thinking, "oh if only my pictures could look like her's someday." I have done this with other bloggers as well. I take note of their style and technique, hoping that someday I can weave their ideas into my own style someday.
It's interesting because for Christmas I made a picture calendar for my family and they thought it was the most creative gift ever. I thanked them for the compliment, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, well that was just an easy project. It wasn't very creative. I just dropped some photos into a template and then had Snapfish print (such an easy and wonderful gift by the way). But they game me tons of compliments and told me that I was a very creative person. It was a very creative gift, and it turned out really well. But in the back of my mind I am thinking, I could have done something much more creative than use a template. Next year folks, Calendar 2.0 will be amazing! :)
I work with some amazing creative folks every day. I work for one of the largest advertising agencies in our town, and if you add up our network of affliliates, is probably one of the largest in the country, if not the world (by total number of employees/offices that is). I am around top creative on a daily basis, so my expectations are probably a little higher than the average person. Meaning my expectations for myself are a lot higher than the average person as well.
But you see I am still a beginner in the world of photography. I am also an account services person, so the expectations to be creative are much lower...ha! But my point is that I am still learning this craft. I am still learning skills and technique that many experienced photographers have been working on for years. But yet I still hold myself to their same expectations.
I think we all kind of do this as bloggers. We read some wonderful, sophisticated, creative blogs, and then we compare our lives to them. We think, oh if only our house looked that hers, or my cookies came out looking more like hers, or oh I wish I was as funny as she is, or my writing flowed as well as hers. That's that one thing that I do not like about blogging. The constant need to show off, and then compare ourselves to each other. But at the same time, it's a wonderful way to gain inspiration and ideas to better ourselves. I guess it's a double edge sword.
As I have gotten a little off topic, I'll wrap things up by saying when I saw the image above, it clicked with me that yes I am a beginner. And 99% of the photographers/bloggers/creative folks out there were beginners as well. I do think there is probably a 1% chance that some people come out of the womb being crazy artistic. But everyone has to start somewhere, just take a look at some of your favorite blogger's first posts to see how far they have come. I am at that point of starting my own journey, that I hope leads to something wonderful.
Do you ever feel frustrations as bloggers, photographers, artists, writers, crafters, etc?